"You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them."
We all dream of creating a happy family, often hoping it will be different then the one we grew up in. We put so much time and effort into creating a happy family and we may feel so confused, frustrated and at a loss when our reality isn't what we had hoped. The hardest job on earth is being a parent! Our template for parenting comes from our own family of origin, be it good or bad. We are often determined to do it differently than our parents, but no matter how hard we try, we often make the same mistakes. No matter how smart we are, history repeats itself because the unconscious is more powerful than the rational brain.
When working with your family, I help you to identify patterns and themes from your family of origin and how they are being recreated in your current family. Once these patterns and themes are identified it helps you to look at the presenting problem in a different light. Through understanding you become centered, hope is restored and you are better able to work on the problem at hand so that peace and harmony can be established within your family.
When asked to meet with a child or adolescent, I always meet with the parents first. Through taking a family history and asking questions about the identified problem a family member or family members are having, we determine where the problem may be stemming from and how best to proceed. It may be best to work with your child, you and your spouse, your entire family or some combination to promote change. No matter where the problem lies once it is identified and understood negative patterns of thinking, feeling and relating can be broken.